My life
What's happened?

Friday, May 12, 2006

9:23 AM

This is it...the verdict is out, if I am destined to be alone, so it shall be. It is for the best anyway, without distractions, my mind is clear. Without emotions, my heart is dead. Without obligations, my soul is at ease. A small price to pay for such freedom. Apathy and contempt shall bind me for the next two years. Shackles of disgust and hatred will weigh me down to the ground as well. Freedom in restraint, happiness in hatred, ironic yet true

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

5:48 PM

Hmmm...still feel hollow today, my soul, mind and body are intact but there's this hollowness in my heart that leaves room for no one. Very weird, no desire for company, no fear of loneliness, yet I do not wish to be alone. This is no phase in life, it is a result of circumstances. I do not embrace it, yet it gives me a feeling of empowerment, to feel no love, no desire. It makes me sad, yet through this sadness I find peace of mind, the peace I need to work. No one matters anymore. It's now going to rain, a heavy downpour of tears from the sky, to celebrate my sadness. The dark masses of clouds race across the sky, enveloping all that was once bright and cheerful. Lightning streaks across the shady sky, flashes of anger at the injustice of this world. Thunder looms in the distance, heralding the storm, and what comes after...

Monday, May 08, 2006

10:22 PM

Hmmm...I don't know why, I just feel so empty inside, so drained. All I want to do is just to work and sleep, nothing else matters anymore. I'm thinking whether i should pursue matters of the heart, but when i search for the epicentre of emotion, all I find is one big gaping crater, devoid of any feeling or form. The knowledge of such a void hurts, but in a way the void heals this pain. I'm tired of this realm, tired of this illusion that I live in, tired of waiting...